4am Ramble – Bloguary Day 14

Hello 4am!
A kicking baby and a snoring hubby brought me here. I fought it for a good 30mins then decided to give in. It started off a little something like this………

“I’ll get up and clean, fold some laundry, maybe wash some dishes.”
“Well if I do all that my coffee will get cold.”
“I really need to buy some maternity clothes. Some online shopping?” NO you just spent a small fortune at the chiropractor and getting your hair done. You’ll need to squeeze into what you have for a while longer.” Sorry leggings inner Kendra is a cheapo!
How about a blog post? YEP! That sounds like just the right coffee drinking procrastinating task I’m looking for.

And here we are!

I have nothing prepared to chat about so you know the drill……..

Kendra is my name and random is my game. Here’s something that’s been on my mind lately. Enter at your own risk.

My in-laws leave today. Did you watch our Family update vlog? I explain everything there. 
We had dinner with them last night and it took everything in me not to throw myself at my mother-in-law and sob. They’re not ones to outwardly show emotion. I’m pretty sure it would have freaked them out so I played it cool and kept it together.

I kept thinking about how much Weston is going to grow and change over the next 2 months while they’re gone. How big my belly is going to get. How when they come back we’ll have 1 month ONE MONTH until we meet Carson. Whoops and here come the tears. It just seems like we’re entering such a panicle point in our family life……Kent, Weston, and I.

I told Kent yesterday that I really want to focus on enjoying these next few months. He replied with a chuckle. To which I asked why that was funny.

He said “Yeah well I don’t think these next few months are going to be fun. More like stressful.” Yes I can see that but they can also be fun/precious, if that’s what we focus on.

Yes Weston is a wild man. He’s fussy and clingy, often. He wants mama and only mama most of the time. He’s SUPER active and loves to destroy everything he touches. He’s a handful but he’s also precious.

I know there will be a time when I’ll look back on these days and miss my mama’s boy. I’ll miss hearing him call out for me. Seeing him light up the second he sees me. Knowing just how much he loves me by looking at his sweet chubby face. He’s my Velcro and while it’s not always easy this time is so very very precious. 

Soon things are going to change.

I’ll be nursing a newborn. Attention and focus will be shifted. Life will change for all of us. Weston will soon be a big brother! Don’t get me started I’ll sobbing aging. He’ll have to share his mama. I’ll have to share my Weston and while I’m so excited for this new chapter we’re quickly approaching I’m also a little anxious about the shift.

So I really want to enjoy these next few months. Yes we have tons of projects in the house we need to complete. Yes I’m behind on laundry and many things actually but if the opportunity arises for us to do something fun as a family. A family if 3. We should do it! Forgot about the “To Do List”. Okay not totally because that would just freak me out but make sure we’re taking advantage of those little moments we have………just the 3 of us.

Enjoy Weston as an only child. Take time to pause and mediate on Carson’s sweet kicks (I know just how much I’ll miss those after he’s born). Enjoy the journey of preparing the nursery and getting the house in order. It’s special, all of it. Even the things we think are going to be hard.

I’m so grateful for this time with him. These last few months of “just us”. Not having to worry about work or deadlines. Being able to worry about not getting house work done. Worrying about a son who flips the second I leave the room. Yes he totally does. I’ll have to tell y’all how the gym nursery has been going. Different post on another day. It’s a gift to be able to focus/worry about those things fully without throwing in the stresses of a job. I see the gift in it all and I’m so very grateful.

So to the hubs I said……….

“Yes it may be a little hard at times and yes I’m going to be tired. My back may be acting up and you’ll have to help out around the house a little more than you would like to but let’s enjoy it. It’s a precious time that we’ll look back on and miss one day.”

He smiled at me and said. “Yeah okay.”

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